Last week, at about 2 p.m. on Thursday, August 1, I signed the papers to sell our house. A few hours earlier, I’d e-transfered my first month’s rent to the landlord for my new apartment here in town. So, pretty good timing!
When I made my deposit of last month’s rent on the apartment back in May, it felt like August was a long way off. As July raced on without a sale, I was getting pretty nervous! I knew I’d be able to carry both the house and the apartment for a little while — not very long! — but I didn’t like the potential open-ended-ness of it. So, phew! By the next day, I literally felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
Packing up (and, really, I’m still in the purging phase — going from a three-storey house to a three-bedroom apartment means A LOT of thing won’t be going with me) has been strange. I’m sure it will continue to be, but I’m feeling good about this.
Except for university, I didn’t leave home until I was 29 years old, and I moved in directly with Barbara. This is the first time I’ve ever lived on my own … and this new apartment will be the first time I’ve lived on my own in a place with no connection to Barbara. But people keep telling me you bring those memories with you. I’m sure I will.
Until then, here are some memories of the places we shared together…
Our first house. A tiny little rental in Toronto at Mount Pleasant & Eglinton.
The first house we owned, in Toronto at Bayview and Davisville.
Our lovely and happy home here in Owen Sound.
Eric,
Lots of memories. Good luck with the move.
Bill
You will find it a challenge, Eric, to be in the new apartment on your own, the memories of the happy years you shared with Barbara will always be there. It is good to make this change because, remembering the kind of woman Barbara was, she would certainly want you to keep on living, and find new happiness.
As a twice widowed woman, I know that is will be a challenge not to live in the past or even compare any new life, including new relationships to what was. The greatest honour I could give my late spouses was to keep on living, and enjoying every day of my life.
By the way, I was up in Grey County this weekend, stayed at the guest house in Eugenia, as Ora and her husband, Peter, have a tiny cabin in a woods, about 15 minutes away. We had a wonderful time, and their property is amazing. They hope to actually build a home on the land, with rooms for their boys, and who knows, some day, grandchildren, along way into the future. I was very impressed with the area, and the beauty of the scenery as well as the warmth and welcoming of the people.
I wish you an easy move, and a new home that will bring you comfort and happiness.
You’ll be fine, Eric. A good move.
Brian
Dear Eric:
After my wife, Shirley, died I was living with a “boarder” at our Manhattan apartment and also had the country house, which Shirley designed and helped build.
I went through similar stress trying to get it sold while also trying to find someone to get the squirrels out from behind the walls. No small task.
That done, then retiring from MSG Networks and moving to Israel were challenges.
Still challenged in Israel with language, etc.
You will be fine in your new life and you will always have the cherished memories as a bonus.
Shalom.
Eric,
I partly know howe you feel. When our daughter and hubby added the “in-law suite” to their new farmhouse, there was a time element involved in selling our house in Lindsay. With many viewers it looked hopeful early, but it dragged on and on, with a bit of a real estate lull in that town. But, at the last minute, taking less than it was appraised at, it sold and we moved.
Change is always tough. Again, I know. Our Lindsay house was 15 miles from where I grew up. My roots were there, and I anticipated living there until the end. But, my heart attack and Grace’s broken back indicated we needed a different venue. I still miss the area. In a few minutes I could slip out to see the farm, my old school, etc.
But God gave us the ability to adjust, and we are content here. It turns out to be the best thing for us.
You have done amazingly well in surviving your great loss. You will survive this move and soon find it like we do….HOME!
Best,
Glen
I can’t help but be moved by the warmth, richness and variety of comments from your circle of friends, acquaintances and readers. That must be a wonderful support for you as you undertake this transition.
May the wind continue to be at your back…
You’ve gone through a tough time, but you sure shared two beautiful homes with Barbara and a lotta love too. All the best with the next phase of the adventure. D’Arcy
Looked like a lovely home Eric…I know you lived there too but it looked so “her”
OMG you guys were SO CUTE!
You want to honour her memory? Live well Eric.
My house will never sell #4 in a Chinese neighborhood very unlucky.
They’ll have to bury me in the backyard
Mazal tov on the sale!…on to the next chapter
EL
Good luck with the new place!
Dear Eric,
I’m so glad that the timing of the sale worked out well for you. I know what it’s like to live on your own. I never had before either since I went right from my parent’s home to an apartment with Gordy. But somehow we learn to adjust. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t “talk” to Gordy. I wish you all the best in your new adventures! I am confident that you will do well.
Much love,
Linda
I cannot imagine how you feel — but I’m glad you’re sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. Thanks
Dear Eric, Do take care. You have gone through two of the most stressful challenges in life…The death of a loved one, and leaving your family home. Give yourself time to just relax and not think about being positive or the next challenge. It has a lot to be said for taking time out. Prayers for you and Barb, as I called her XXX
Best wishes in the new location, Eric. Just keep writing about various and sundry. I think it’s good therapy for you. While I’m undecided at the moment concerning Quebec City I think it would be a good idea for you to go and mingle with the SIHR crowd. Roger
What a cute little place you had at first with Barbara! And your second house was quite nice too. Your house here in “The Sound” was spectacular….one of the nicest homes I’ve ever been in.
I KNOW this is going to be a wrench for you Eric. People said you will take the photos & memories with you & it is true. I’ve moved a total of 18 times since I left home @ 17 & I carry all my memories with me. When I had to move into Housing it WAS a HUGE wrench as I loved my little place on West Hill. But there were a lot of sad/bad memories there so a change was needed.
I made new memories & have ‘found’ myself being on my own. I miss husband Kevin so very much but if I’d stayed on West Hill I’d have gone a bit loopy. At least here I am making my ‘own’ memories & do not feel imprisoned by the past.
We will never forget our partners. We will move forward. And one thing I still do is I look at things thru husband Paul’s eyes….like I am a conduit for him as he died when he was only 33. I learned how to do this when Paul was alive & it has helped me cope over the years. OK I have waffled on enough!
Mazel Tov on selling the house & on finding a new place to ‘be’!!!
Regards, Sherri-Ellen & **purrsss** BellaDharma